Dear Workout Barbie...

Thank you for making the rest of us at the gym feel a little more inadequate and self conscience about our bodies. We can all tell that your perfect size 0 petite body exists underneath your full body spandex outfit. Is it really necessary to tie your shirt up in a knot right below your fake ta-tas so we can all envy your tan six pack too?

While the rest of us are spending hours sweating our asses off on the Elliptical machine, you so lackadaisically lift your weights and dab the droplet of sweat off. Don't worry your layers of mascara and eyeliner hasn't smeared.

Although, I do fell that you're confused on the current year. It looks like you just did a jumping jack out of an 80's workout video with your Aqua-Net sprayed hair, pink lipstick and overload of make-up along with your scrunched socks to complete your head-to-toe Ever Last outfit.  And to top it off, you coincidently arrive to the gym in your white convertible Corvette at the same time I do almost every night.

I guess I should find you more of a motivation than a threat, or maybe I'm just jealous. Regardless, walking back and forth from the bathroom to fix your make up and retie your shirt really isn't necessary every 20 minutes.

I understand you were blessed with close to perfect genes. But maybe take it down a notch, leave something to the imagination. I can only imagine you at the beach in your neon green bikini that sits high above the hips.


Cyd and Dan,  October 29, 2010 at 4:27 PM  

Hysterical! We all have one of these at our gyms!

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